The New Criterion

The latest in a continuing educational series, including this and that. As the magazine’s slush man, I would like to flag this recent pitch for its bold yet ultimately self-defeating honesty:

I am a writer of small renown who currently resides in a California high desert penal colony. I have had some luck lately selling my stories and poetry to various literary concerns, and am enclosing a list of publishing credits. Before my fall from grace I wrote for a couple of alternative music mags, and played music professionally. While on the road with my Gothic blues band, I deliberately employed the most dissolute musicians Hollywood offered. They in turn introduced me to the practice of heroin smoking, which led to my currently inglorious digs. Obviously, not the best situation, but I do have time to write and write.

I found the New Criterion in my Writers’ Market. As to whther [sic] my poetry is appropriate for your magazine, I have no idea. I only make eight cents an hour, and so can’t afford to buy many magazines. So, let me know what you think, and thank you for your time and consideration.