The New Criterion

Wow. What a scoop! Thanks to RealClearPolitics for this amazing leak. We were surprised at first, too. Who knew that Rove’s reach went so far? But actually it explains a lot about the news coverage at our Paper of Record. No wonder the publisher of the Times, "Pinch" Sulzberger, was upset.

According to well-placed insiders on the Times’ Board of Directors, a shaken Sulzberger made that announcement in a hastily convened meeting of the Board of the Times’ parent company, The New York Times Corp. Sulzberger reportedly told the board that the discovery was made last week.

"During an internal investigation, we reached the regrettable conclusion that Karl Rove has been running this newspaper since at least August, 2002," Sulzberger reportedly stated. "His intention is clear - to ruin the reputation of the newspaper and the party that our editorial policy supports."

Sulzberger reportedly continued: "I ordered an investigation to determine how the Times had come to publish detailed information about a top-secret government monitoring operation of the international financial transactions of al-Qaeda and other terrorist groups. The publication of this information clearly helps an enemy that killed thousands of people just a few blocks from here. Endangering Americans is something the Times would never intentionally do. Unfortunately this story fits a pattern of publication that has almost ruined the Times’ reputation for probity and journalistic honesty as well as causing incalculable damage to the Democratic party that our editorial policy supports."

The White House moved quickly to distance itself from the report:

At the White House, Presidential Spokesman Tony Snow stated that he had spoken to Rove about the charges and that Rove is mystified.

"Karl Rove has a whole planet to run," said Snow with characteristic understatement, "he doesn’t have the time or inclination to run a parochial newspaper with a declining stock price and diminishing readership."

However, many Times insiders concur with the report. Columnist Paul Krugman stated: "This explains everything. I could never have written - or more to the point - published, so much idiotic crap if Rove had not been in charge."