The New Criterion

On the left, Hookie Crunch. On the right, Vanilla Nut. Both flavors until recently available at participating houses of worship in Britain.

No doubt you’re already a fan of The Hook. Aka Captain Crunch. Aka The Hookmeister. Aka Abu Hamza al-Masri. Aka the most popular flavor at the Finsbury Park branch of Ye Olde Fomenting Terrorism Shoppe.

Then you also must know that, alas, Hook’s been discontinued at Finsbury and is now available exclusively at Belmarsh Prison. Hamza’s been charged with sixteen crimes and is fighting extradition to the United States, where is he wanted in connection with the attempted establishment of a terrorist training camp in Bly, Oregon.

As Britain’s Labour government puts the freeze on house-brand radicals, we’ll have to wait and see if this flavor of the month gets his just desserts.

So the Hook is on ice, for now. But what about Vanilla Nut? What, you have never heard of the poster girl of the Taliban and one-time tabloid journalist Yvonne Ridley? Ms. Ridley converted to Islam after, she claims, she was imprisoned in Afghanistan in 2001 and "returned to her original nature." She also returned to Britain, where she continues to write and lecture and operate a television show on her new-found path in life (she was fired by Al Jazeerah a few years ago--even they have standards).

Here is what Ms. Ridley had to say at a conference of British Muslims just last weekend:

I thank Allah that I was captured by the Taliban and not the Americans . . . It is time to stand up together. Resistance is our duty. . . . If you want to make war against Islam, I am ready.

Tempting? If you like the Hook you love Ms. Ridley. Because you don’t have to travel to Finsbury or Belmarsh to sample this nut. Try St. Mary’s Church of Slough. Slough, you say? Yes, Slough. Ridley spoke there as an invited guest of an organization called "Slough for Peace." (What would John Betjeman think of that?) When Ridley’s not preaching to the choir or taking her nine-year-old-daughter to Afghanistan "on holiday," she’s writing books about "a soul-searching look at the whole issue of martyrdom operations. It features a Hamas fighter on the front cover and the dedication inside is to the people of Jenin and their martyrs."

Of course, the BBC has seen fit to call Ms. Ridley’s imprisonment/conversion story "from Durham to Dohar . . . an incredible adventure and a fascinating spiritual rebirth."

We call it another flavor of radical Islam in Britain. Another candidate for the Do Not Fly list. Perhaps an argument against racial profiling.

And wouldn’t you know it: Ridley’s as mixed up with The Hook as a melted sundae at Hajj.

Radical Islam can be tailored to taste. So how far will Britain go to discontinue all thirty-two flavors? One down. Thirty-one to go.

And I know of at least one MP who should be wondering when his flavor is up.