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Feb 09, 2005 08:23 AM

French lessons

by Roger Kimball


[corrected 2.10] It is nice to know that Condoleeza Rice appears to be making progress mending fences with the French. According to a voice of America report, Rice has held "constructive" meetings with French President Jacques Chirac and Foreign Minister Michel Barnier. Quoth M. Barnier, "Let me say loud and clear that I believe the world is a better place, a better place, when Europeans and Americans cooperate."

Isn’t that nice of the Foreign Minister? The United States invades Iraq, deposes Saddam Hussein, starts rebuiding the country’s political and material infrastructure, and manages the first free election in that beleaguered country in fifty years. Now, after a few years of obstruction and vituperation, the French are amenable to "healing the rift." Thanks a lot, gar�on.

Well, the United States cannot do the most satisfying thing with the world’s fifth largest economy, which would be to tell M. Chirac and company to go choke on their escargot. Nope, we’re all adults here and prudence dictates that we offer the olive branch. Still, it is worth bearing France’s recent (and not only recent) behavior in mind. The latest collection of John Julius Norwich’s Christmas Crackers contains the following item. In 1815, Napoleon escaped from Elba and began his march on Paris. Le Moniteur Universel provided brief daily reports of his progress. Together, they provide a glimpse into the soul of "our oldest ally."

L’anthropophage est sorti de son repaire.
L’ogre de Corse vient de d�barquer au Golfe Juan.
Le tigre est arriv� a Gap.
Le monstre a couch� � Grenoble.
Le tyran a travers� Lyon.
L’usurpateur a �t� vu � soixante lieues de la capitale.
Bonaparte s’avance � grands pas, mais il n’entrera jamais dans Paris.
Napol�on sera demain sous nos remparts.
L’Empereur est arriv� � Fontainebleau.
Sa Majest� Imp�riale et Royale a fait hier au soir son entr�e dans son ch�teau des Tuileries au milieu de ses fid�les sujets.

Roughly:

The cannibal has left his lair.
The Corsican ogre has just landed at the Juan Gulf.
The tiger has arrived at Gap.
The monster slept at Grenoble.
The tyrant has crossed Lyons.
The usurper was seen sixty leagues from the capital.
Bonaparte has advanced with great strides, but he will never enter Paris.
Tomorrow, Napoleon will be under our ramparts.
The Emperor has arrived at Fontainbleau.
His Imperial and Royal Majesty entered his palace at the Tuileries last night in the midst of his faithful subjects.

What is the French for "treacherous sycophantic hypocrisy"?

Go ahead: let’s profer the olive branch with one hand. Let’s keep the other hand in reserve.

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