On marriage, Fred has things to tell
Culled from many a friend
—But is it all reliable?
And whither does it tend?
One pair on which Fred thought he’d check
Had won the Dunmow Flitch:
The husband was a trembling wreck,
The wife a raving bitch.
One pair was prone to public rage:
Outside their house one day
Fred listened as they seemed to stage
A sentimental play.
Marriage is such a strange affair
That no one really knows
—Not even Fred—how any pair
Stack up the cons and pros.